Self Management

I am now on the other side. Harvard has officially receded to the back of my mind. Yay!

I am actually too busy, looking forward to the Awards this evening (v. slight chance may also end up collecting one). A black tie affair, these events typically end up spectacularly boozey. And I love a man in a tux.

So, despite being on the other side, I have however taken out insurance. This morning I deleted Harvard's phone number. And all his texts. And his MMS (although forwarded it to my email, couldn't resist keeping a copy!). Therefore please rest assured, there shall be no drunk and dialling tonight for moi. Phew.

xxxoooxxx

Some news is bad news!

So it goes, Irish has rescheduled me for next week. Appears he is somehow connected to Fashion Week and his services are required. Quite impressed by this actually!

On the bright side he has offered to a/ research a restaurant in my local suburb b/ book and c/ take me to dinner next week. And the phone chat was really rather enjoyable, so far we are connecting. I do know I must remember my own advice though, quick to the face to face or risk lack of chemistry disaster. Oh well, a little too late for that one.

I now get to have a quiet night in tonight. Which is a very good thing, as tomorrow I have an Industry Awards night and I would like to be rested and glamed up. You just don't know who you're going to run into at these things. I mean, could my conference man be there? Or will there be a new potential man for me out and about?

Part of me is actually worried about Irish's fate. Between the Awards and the Races who knows what will eventuate!

Stay tuned.

xxxoooxxx

No News is Good News

But it's still killing me. I just want the opportunity to say 'sorry, I don't think we should do this the age gap is too large'. No really, I do! And be talked out of it of course.

Irish, please save me from this headf*ck.

One more sleep, it better be good given I'm counting down.

xxxoooxxx

ps now going to the Races this weekend, it's good to have a back up plan.

Dating Roller Coaster

Spoke to Irish last night. He has quite the personality. Even asked him if it's OK to call him Irish and I think he was quite taken with the nickname. I'm looking forward to meeting him. I've really studied his pictures et-all and apart from a possible double chin (OK downward slant) he's rather cute - and fun. And 37!

Is hard though. I am regrettably still having weekend flashbacks. What's a girl to do. I hunger for that glimmer of attention from he who shall be known as "Harvard". I know it's not in my best interest, I know, I know, but can't help it. Compulsive phone checking is on the agenda.

From experience I do realise that with every day that passes, I shall move further away from Harvard and forward towards my future. But it's only been one sleep so far. I told you he was danger!

Any way, I was rather busy on the men front last night. Along with Irish on the phone I had my MySpace buddy, yes "buddy" texting me up a storm. Actually he also sent me a text whilst with Harvard on Sat night, lucky my phone was on silent, was 1am.

Turns out he is confused about his current girlfriend. Men are predictable. The minute he starts having doubts he goes the booty call. Is not happening. Even told him about Harvard...he was quite put out. Basically trying to ask me where he ranks in all this. He doesn't want to know, there is no comparison. Some classic text from him though, such as;

• Did you want more than just fun from me? (to which I answered no, this is not about me is about you, you're hopeless)
• Saw your pics of birthday UR Hot
• And the winner, to my text of good night 'you don't inspire sleep'
  

Also finally text the Local back. I was on a roll. But not very keen in following that one up, just creating maximum Harvard diversions. And to think he was supposed to be the diversion.

Right, on that note, am off to check my phone again (just kidding).

More importantly, 2 sleeps to go till I meet Irish. Here's to him having some sort of Mr Right potential (even Mr Right Now would be useful at the minute).

xxxoooxxx

Update

Irish has his profile back up.

Hmmmm.

Couldn't resist, promised you the HH would go on. Sent him a little facebook message. Got his mobile number back in return.

I shall be calling him this evening. Beats pining over Mr Almost Right Now!

xxxoooxxx

Risky Business

About Mr Right Now.

Not Canadian, from New York.
Not just in finance, a Stock Broker.
Not just a Stock Broker, but SB with business and self recently bought by major Investment Bank.
Not 6 foot 3........6 foot 5 and a 1/2.
Not just intelligent, a Harvard Graduate.
Not 27 (yet) still 26....
Not just successful, but generous (nice restaurant, bill settled whilst in loo).
Not called Don, called John (ok names changed for privacy but did get it wrong by one letter!)

The night was a great success. We drank, we dined, we had fun, oh yes we had fun over and over again...I think 4 times to be exact.

Then this morning, the dynamics changed. A cold front came in.

So, I'm left pondering the situation and this is where I'm at...

What started out as a potential bit of fun on the side, materialised into a younger version of my vision right before my eyes. A much younger version. A version in a completely different life-stage to self.

I don't think I'll hear from him again. And if I do I'm feeling wary. The last thing I need right now is a broken heart, and I've a feeling that's exactly what would be on the menu a little bit down the track.

Never fear, my enthusiasm hasn't not dampened, it was a truly awesome night. And right now if that's all it was I'm ok with that. The HH must go on, and on it will go...

xxxoooxxx

ps good girl deleted from vocab on request!

Diversionary Tactics

I thought there would be fun and I was right. The evening went without a hitch. Well small hitch re door b*tches but I pulled a swifty dummy restaurant booking. Result? All guests swiftly skipping 50m line and escorted upstairs!

As for Husband Hunting. Well I didn't promise anything did I? And I was fairly accurate on that front, but not without some interesting diversions along the way. I certainly got myself a bday pressie.

The joint was jumping with men. Definite high male:female ratio. And this is supposed to be the city of the infamous man drought? Was anything but. Think someone was shining down on me from up above easing me into my 37th year with a smorgasbord!

It was about 1am when 6 foot 3 god of a man made a beeline for me. First question out of his mouth 'how old are you'? Jeez Louise, he hadn't even asked me my name! Me being me blurted 37 without a moments hesitation. He is of course of a similar age. 27 is similar right?

Well I decided what the hell, I never said I was going to meet my hubby that night so figure no harm in meeting Mr Right Now instead.

He was like Velcro. 2 days later I still haven't shaken him. Haven't actually seen him mind you. That is apart from a rather interesting MMS message. Which has me thinking I am pretty keen on seeing a bit more of him.

So see him I shall.

I'm feeling a tad torn though. Just a tad mind you. When husband hunting is Mr Right Now a good thing or a bad thing? On the negative side, between work and the HH I don't have much time. The plus side is for some reason men seem to be more attracted to you when your giving off those pheromone vibes (or so I seem to find).

I would really like some advice right now, so I ask you Husband Hunt readers. What to do? In the short term, I have just spent $180 on underwear. Seems today's decision is made. It's after today I am worried about.

Right now however, my main focus is on my upcoming, not so relaxing night in!

xxxoooxxx

ps for Mr Right now to go anywhere past today one thing is for sure. The words "good girl baby" MUST be deleted from his vocabulary. I am going to make that very clear. Also need to get past the accent. At least is Canadian rather than American!

I'm so excited

Well it's been quite a week, between, work, work and more work.

But now....it's all play. I've a long weekend ahead which will kick off with drinks for moi!

In one hour I will be on my way to my abode where I will begin the process of turning myself from humble late 30 something woman to confident early 30 year old glamazon. I have - the dress, the tan, the botox, quite frankly I simply have it ALL going on.

Suspected Husband Hunt likelihood - to be honest, sorry, but low. Suspected fun likelihood? Sky high.

Whatever the case, I will be back with details tomorrow. Or maybe the next day, recovery dependent!

xxxoooxxx

One life needed

Work is getting in the way of the Husband Hunt. I know I should not allow this sort of disruption, however, after a week of sun and fun I've had to come back down to earth (my desk) with a thud!

I have some tidbits to report.

- Random text on Bday from Mr Local. Is 3 days later and still haven't replied...of course he didn't know it was my *special day*
- No contact with Irish. Also his online dating profile is suddenly inactive. Suspect has been snatched up by an enemy HH
- Ex boyfriend whom I broke up with - get this - 12 years ago! Sent me a birthday email (married 2 kids, like why?)
- No contact from Mr Small Biz. Think he has the hint. Actually seem to remember telling him I'd call him when I got back...

Bday drinks tomorrow night should sufficiently get me back on track.

xxxoooxxx

Happy Bday to me!

The day has arrived.

I am no longer 36.

I am no longer in Bali.

I am no longer in a year that I spent entirely single.

Today marks the beginning of a new phase.

Look out!

xxxoooxxx

Notes to Self

1. Alcohol should be consumed in moderation
2. Hangovers so bad they force Sat night rethinks (ie stay home/hotel) are not appropriate during Husband Hunt
3. It doesn't count if you don't kiss back
4. 24 is too young

Clearly the final night party was enormous. Drank so much could hardly stand up. Men were abundant and lecherous. I was not attractive. 'Nuff said!

Suffice to say I have a strong suspicion I did not meet the love of my life in Bali. I guess there's always the plane trip home ;) Actually we are going to Ku De Ta for sunset so it still isn't over!

Moving on, I've big plans this week, the HH is relentless. Want to meet Irish. Have got big night out related to me and the fact that I have annual day tomorrow. Also going to the races next weekend, always teeming with men. Fun, fun, fun.

Am truly Botoxtastic and in posession of suntan and new party frock.

xxxoooxxx

Ring, ring!

So today, on the final day of the conference it seems there have been a few new arrivals. I'm beginning to notice an improvement in the eye candy department.

However, there is a catch. And the catch appears to shine brightly from a certain finger. Married men, many married men.

It seems one of them has taken a shine to me as well. Apparently I am a dead ringer for Cameron Diaz. I also overheard him say that old chestnut 'what goes on tour stays on tour'.

So I pondered this. It's been a while and all that. He is pretty saucy.

And then I remembered that I have values and in particular integrity. I choose to respect my fellow females and NEVER to cross the married line (or is it into the circle?).

Besides I did spot another cutey in the front row sans ring. Funnily (typically) wearing the wristband that represents the under 30's here. I don't know about you but I'll take young over married any day! May not be a HH strategy but you gotta give a girl the chance to have some fun.

xxxoooxxx

ps less than one week until 37 gauntlet falls, quietly freaking out

Any one got a big stick?

As mentioned prior, lack of apparent talent at conference.

However, no lack of interest! Last nights drinks proved to be difficult to negotiate. Seems whilst I haven't spotted anyone worthy of Vision status, I AM a vision myself.

Amorous suitors a plenty. Just not suitable suitors! Had to do a runner ie pretend bathroom stop reality bedroom dash.

Busy wondering whether I should a:
- continue to run far far away
Or b:
- practice harmless flirting

So far running is winning. Sorry I just can't do it.

Good news, tomorrow night we have the big event party. Apparently a lot additional folk fly in for this and we take over the whole of Ku De Ta for the night. So you just never know. I mean it's not over till it's over right.

In the meantime am not complaining. Loving Bali!

And interesting MySpace/online dating sneak through who shall henceforth be known as Irish (as is Irish) has facebook requested me. Have had a good look through his pics and I'm thinking there is some potential there. Excitement!

Must run. Important conference things to do. Like one more hour of conference followed by afternoon of snorkeling.

xxxoooxxx

Rant and rave

Truth be known, after all the build up it's not looking promising. You would have thought that out of 350 conference delegates I'd meet someone of interest. I suppose when you cut that down to 175 men and probably something like 20 single men it's not so surprising that the talent is thin on the ground.

Got to get back now despite slim pickings (am on stealth blog mission right now). Will report further tomorrow. Just don't hold your breath re quality HH material.

I really like the Ritz Sensation. Is actually quite sensational, approve of name. Seems more like feeling thank drink, in fact feels sensashional.

xxxoooxxx

Working on my long game!

To be effective in life it's important to have a long term strategy rather relying on the quick fix that is instant gratification (thanks Scott Peck). Just like golf....ie short game vs long game. Actually when playing golf I prefer the long game, but realise I must work on this area in rest of life. Hmm thinking about it, this short game long game thing is a bit out of whack. I love to whack the ball at golf - ie long game. But what I'm really gaining is instant gratification. Short game work would be more helpful in bringing down long term handicap. Talk about mixed metaphors!

Back to the hunt. Yesterday I did work on the long term. Rather than heading out to the bar to chat up men I headed somewhere else all together.....to the cosmetic medical centre. Turns out Botox is half the price in Bali than it is in Sydney. So I'm botoxtastic. Just hope I don't end up looking like a monga, takes a few days for results you know. So far so good, still have fully functioning face.

It's all coming together nicely as I await the impending arrival of my fellow delegates. Especially the fellows ;).

xxxoooxxx

Sods Law

Went to Ku De Ta to watch the sunset. Within 5 minutes of arriving there were exciting arrivals....THE hot boy who was on my plane. Result!

I sat down trying to look comfortable in my aloneness. Drink took so long to come, felt ashamed. Started to read my book. Actually just as an aside I have managed to read the new Marianne Keyes book - This Charming Man, all 650 pages of it in 2 days. She truly is the Queen of chick lit, thought she'd lost it on the last book (Anybody Out There). But, she has redeemed herself massively with this one.

Sorry back to the subject. Not long after I was relaxing into the my drink and book who should approach but Paul (of Paul and Troy from night prior). And this evening he was all smiles and charm itself. So friendly in fact that he and his mate (different mate) decided to join me for like the next 3 hours.

Nice boys but not when Hot Boy was around. Couldn't be rude. Was nice to talk to people really. But, finally when they left and I had the oppo (and enough dutch courage) to look for Hot Boy he had vamoosed (sorry just showing off my Spanish, vanished would have also worked). Felt ripped off!

By the way, Troy has a girlfriend. Girlfriend was actually there at Ku De Ta night prior. Knew it. Ego ok now. Phew.

Tonight I move to Jimbaran Bay. Seems this holiday of mine is about to become work. And I'm going to work it!

xxxoooxxx

Feeling challenged

Did I mention how I came to be in Bali? Thought not. You see, I am lucky enough to be here for a conference ie gratis. Hooray for me! Better still, said conference starts at 4pm Wed and runs until Fri evening. Of course am never one to miss a holiday opportunity so wondered out loud how hosts would feel about moving my flight forward a few days?

Really though, I'm not completely cheeky, I mean I am paying for 3 nights accommodation all by myself (a whopping $75 a night). And as for extra days off work? Well everyone else is flying Monday so maybe I've snack in a cheeky extra day out of the office. Nothing my bosses wouldn't expect of me, am well respected for my assertiveness and ingenuity in all travel related matters (and other stuff more relevant to work of course).

Bottom line is though, as a result I am in Bali alone for 3 days. Hence the challenging matter of husband hunting solo. Actually the challenging matter of even heading out to husband gathering venues ie bars on my pat malone.

But given I have a vision and a strategy of some sort I figured I had to go out last night. It was a Saturday after all.

So, I spent 4 hours at Body Works (1.5 hour massage, pedicure, manicure, cream hair bath) and then put on as minxy an outfit as I could muster up. And out to Ku De Ta I headed.

Tell you what, there wasn't a whole lot of quality on the men front but the cocktails were lush! Had one, or maybe 5. Had so many I worked up enough confidence to approach the only two single looking men standing at the bar!

What I'm ashamed to admit however, is that despite my attempts to look effortlessly gorgeous they were less than enthusiastic in befriending me. In fact their response reminded me of times when I've been out with a girlfriend entrenched in solid girly goss only to be interrupted by annoying bloke determined to derail our gossip session.

I bantered with them for, I don't know, like maybe 15 mins. I then announced I was off. They proclaimed shock - don't you like us then, what have we done? To which I answered....you see when I walked up I thought it would go one of two ways:

1. You would welcome me into your holiday possie and take responsibility for my social calendar over the next few days...or
2. You would be too busy enjoying yourselves and think I was interrupting rather than adding value

"I figure it's the later so am off!". And off I was, I could hear them sniggering behing me, they were still reeling from the audacity. I was having a good chuckle to myself truth be known. Like Wot Eva!

NB it had turned out they were locals (Aussie expats), rather than randy men embracing cavalier festive style holiday spirit. Probably with girlfriends at home, not confirmed of course just suspected, I mean obvious really though, no?!

Of course rather than leaving, I skulked over to lovely relaxing day beds and drank two more cocktails licking my wounds (of course well out of their site). Nice friendly on holiday family seated at next daybeds were so nice to me I realised it really wasn't me, they were losers (so not bitter, really, really not bitter).

I awoke today feeling pretty happy with myself just the same. I have officially taken myself out of my comfort zone. And I have started as I mean to go on. It might be easier when I am in in the midst of like minded tour group but in the meantime I am on course and ready for action. Might be DVD related action tonight though. Maybe some soft porn? No just kidding, I promise I will have at least one drink in a bar at some point today and report back. Note to self, The Husband Hunt is all leaving the house (or hotel room in this instance).

xxxoooxx

I am in love!!!!

With Bali of course. Forgot just how much I adore this place.

After two hours spent on the tarmac due to a water leakage...I finally arrived late - ie 4am this morning Sydney time (2am local). This morning waking up here though it was all worth it. Woohoo!

Actually there was some very decent eye candy on the plane so it's not just Bali itself I'm excited about. Having said that, after 8 hours on a plane direct from a full day at work and super late arrival, I'm a little nervous my hotness quota wasn't at it's best (far from it according to the mirror). I just hope I haven't sent any of my Visions running already.

I am aware, however, that this trip is going to provide some serious challenges. I am going to throw myself into the husband hunt full throttle whilst here. Let's just hope I end up riding more than my motor bike!

xxxoooxxx

I so knew it

Pfft. Went out with Mr Carlingford/Pennant Hills man last night What a lovely guy! From the second I met him I just knew. I just knew we weren't meant to be.

Seriously, maybe I should make more of an effort pre a face to face. MPH was all about farming and finding the right career to facilitate this farmbound future. Not my vision at all..

So next time I'm going to listen to my inner voice. Stop me if you disagree but my voice seems to have more of a clue than I do.

Meanwhile my excitement is mounting. One more sleep and I am leaving on a jet plane.

xxxoooxxx

24 hours of action

Sorry, that heading is a little misleading, don't go getting excited on my behalf.

As you know, I decided that given I am working towards my vision, I needed to take some actions. I've even listed most of these. Another 'action' I implemented recently was un-hiding my photos on my online dating profile. I did this around 48 hours ago.

Can you please remind me to not do this ever again? The enormous influx of action was really rather distracting given:

- I averaged a new 'kiss' around every 15 minutes - truthfully less than that but there were busy periods ok!
- 99% of kisses received from men who do not resemble my vision whatsoever - ie short, fat, ugly or all three
- I am really very busy at work and had to watch the onslaught without checking out the quality until the end of day one. After looking forward to checking out all my new suitors I was obviously more than a tad disappointed.

The real clincher however was when I realised that my quick to the face to face approach was not even possible due to my heavy workload and impending o/s trip.

So 24 hours ago, a mere 24 hours after the great unveiling I was back in my cloak and dagger.

One prospect did slip through the net. Funnily a bloke who friend requested my on My Space around 18 months ago. He looks kinda cute and sounds kinda funny. So I might meet up with him. But then again I might fall in love next week so I might not.

Actually with my trip away fast approaching my Vision is having to take a back seat. Rudely I seem to have a lot of work to do. What's that about?

But never fear, I suspect my posts next week will be jam packed with more action related action. Not only am I heading o/s. But, I am heading o/s to a conference which will clearly be filled with hot men. And even if it isn't well there's bars and things to go to every night. So yes I am going to be really rather busy!

In the meantime I'm still trying to get through all this work so I can at least meet Mr Pennant Hills. I'm trying, I am, but no promises.

xxx000xxx

Online dating dilemmas

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I got an email last night from a man who I sent a kiss to online. I only send kisses to men who fit a fairly narrow criteria:

- Over 5 foot 11
- Must tick athletic physique
- No kids
- Live within 25km of moi
- Personality - average to social or very social
- Aged between 32 and 39 (not sure if this is narrow enough)

Of course there are a couple of little extra not tick-able prerequisites. They must have their photo loaded and I must like it (shallow but true) and of course they must be able to form a sentence and I'll admit I'm a bit of a grammar & spelling Nazi. Which is rather funny as I'd never ask a bloke in a bar to drop me a line before considering a first date!

Mostly, if all of the above is OK, I am up for as little dialogue as possible followed shortly by a face to face. If it's not on, it's not on. Actually I mean if it's not "there" it's not on....ie chemistry is a must and no amount of written or spoken preamble will EVER guarantee chemistry.

So this man well and truly achieved all of the above. He sent me a fairly intelligent and witty email to which I replied with a short and sharp let's skip the bullshit and proceed to meeting (only I didn't really swear). Where do you live?

It turns out he lives in Pennant Hills. Which is apparently near Carlingford. Despite being a Sydney-sider through and through, neither of these suburbs are familiar to me. I'm sure, however that both are much further west than I have previously travelled. Actually having just looked it up on Google maps I am now positive.

Can I really reject a man simply because I don't like the sound of the suburb he lives in?

Actually I've just made my decision, usually the answer would be yes, rejection it is. However, in the interest of this blog I am going to meet him. My guess is, it wont be "there". What's yours?

xxxoooxxx

Lack of committment

I don't think I'm a commitmentphobe. Honestly I don't. But I do find it strange that;

a/ When I last spoke to Mr Small Biz we loosely agreed to catch up today. I didn't hear from him. More to the point I was relieved. I just wasn't feeling in the mood. OK, I admit I've had far too much fun and not enough sleep this weekend. Good clean fun I promise!
b/ I didn't contact the Fin to set up our trip to the golf range.....despite the fact I have previously raved about him for the whole world to see.
c/ At breakfast this morning the subject of The Husband Hunt came up. There was much encouragement re the plan of attack and goals. And I had to admit I hadn't done much of setting out to achieving them. I mean, what blind date?!

Perhaps the real issue is there are now 5 more sleeps until I leave on a soiree to Bali. And right now whilst husband hunting is of vital importance, I seem to have other things on my mind. Such as possibly meeting Mr Vision in Bali.

Don't worry, I'm so not giving up! I'm just standing on the outside looking in. And I am not impressed. I mean if I was my boss right now I might be giving myself a written warning or something.

Never fear, it's not a disaster. I'm just coming to the conclusion that my current prospects may well have nothing to do with my future. Which isn't a bad thing after all, as I said from the start, why settle for less than Mr Vision?

To my loyal readers K, P and S, I think you might just be right ;).

Woooooooooooohooooooooooooooooo 5 sleeps!!

xxxoooxxx

Husband Hunt Weekender

How about a high 5? I finally got out there and made an effort. I approached not one, not two, but many men. Not too sure about the quality control, which really is the down side of the whole dutch courage thing.

I'm afraid I didn't meet any real prospects though. I did however have some fun so I'm not complaining.

Post party, I do have to say where do some men get off?! The man who made the most fuss over me had a girlfriend standing not 5 feet away. He proceeded to outline, in full, his shock and disbelief at my single status as apparently I am extremely sexy, funny, blah blah blah. He even went to far as to say remember me, My names Luke, I'll be calling you. Well Luke, I will not be answering! I was quite pleased my mate (the host of the party) was on to him and is good friends with said girlfriend. I took great pleasure giving him all the gory details to hopefully share with her, she needs to be step away, far, far away from Loser Luke.

I met another man who was rather cute actually. We chatted on and off throughout the night. I've got a feeling he thought he was in as he looked rather shocked when I said goodbye. Men please, make the first move would you! Perhaps this is another task I'm going to have to set myself. Do I really have to do everything?

xxxoooxxx

Will Mr Right be there? And is he on Facebook

Pressure off. Last night I spent the evening catching up with some girlfriends - over wine and take away Vietnamese.

I did however leak info of my extra curricular activities (ie this blog!). Which was rather amusing....for them. And kinda embarrassing for me. Especially given, during dinner Mr Small Biz called and while I was on the phone they took the opportunity to 'read all about it'. Needless to say I could hear their chuckles while I was on the phone....which was rather off putting!

Further, while I was on the phone he mentioned that he had a/ (only today) joined facebook and b/ looked me up. I was stunned at the social stigma I suddenly felt based on a/ he who thinks has a life (although a very small work related one) had suddenly decided I had no life (ie 200 facebook friends). Whatever.

I cut the call off short. My friends were giggling in the background. I know, juvenile, but fun and I didn't want to miss out actually!

But tonight will be different. I am definitely going to socialise...outside a friends house. And it's a FRIDAY.

xxxoooxxx

Failed missions and a little light relief

I really love shoes. This is my current collection. But that's not what this blog is about.

I headed out to the Opera Bar last night to meet some friends. What a beautiful spot! One of the finest views in Sydney if you ask me. Not really busy on a Wed either which is sort of a bonus.

Given my challenge to myself I was totally committed to the cause. Ie, find handsome man and start conversation.

I had a good look around. There were a couple of likely looking candidates. But they had rings on. You know the sort that sit on the left hand ring finger? So I thought I'd best not. If there's one thing I'm not it's a man snatcher.

And then I noticed I'd missed a call. It was none other than Mr Small Business. The relief, I wasn't rejected after all! Hooray!

Not long after that I headed home. I hadn't chatted up anybody but I felt that I'd had some connection with the opposite sex.

I know I did not achieve my goal at the bar. Do you think that makes me a failure? I'm getting concerned that I'm just not trying hard enough?!

Oh well, ho hum, nobody said this was going to be easy. And at least I have had contact with a prospect. If you lose don't lose the lesson and all that.

My lesson. I was too sober. For me to approach a man I need to have a number of drinks under my belt. I'm sorry but in this situation dutch courage is my friend! Which is not so likely on a school night. Hence the lesson is, make up for no approaches on mid week nights out with DOUBLE numbers at the weekend.

xxxoooxxx

Sudden realisation

I haven't heard from Mr Small Business and it's been 3 days?! Have I been dumped again? What the hell is going on, I was sure he was into me. I am so over not even getting the chance to hold the upper hand. Grrrrrr.

Nothing gained

So it goes that my first outing was not entirely successful. Actually it was worse than that....

I arrived to meet my myspace buddy for trivia. It was lovely to see him, it's been a couple of months. I had figured out via facebook he was now 'in a relationship' so I knew the pressure would be off re a happy ending so to speak. Which I was glad about as we both know we have NOTHING in common (outside of a little physical attraction) so we are far better as mates.

So we sat and got reacquainted, I heard all about his new love. I then proceeded to fill him in on the husband hunt. He wasn't much support actually, he told me I should just back off, stop looking and Mr Right would show up. As if I haven't already been doing that on and off for the past 6 years! I can feel steam coming out of my ears now.

Any way, mid way through this conversation I embarked on explaining my current reality (ie a love life update). At mid point I turned to left and who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME?! None other than Mr home town. Of all the nerve, I was supposed to be chatting up a prospect and instead I end up caught between my MySpace ex and Mr Local! And it was really rather an awkward moment. I had just finished telling Myspace about this bloke who I'd been out with twice and who was yet to follow up for date 3. Then he goes and sits right next to me.

I went to great pains to ensure Mr Local realised I wasn't in fact on another online date. I'm sure he got the message. He didn't ask me out though. And big surprise - I haven't heard from him since. I will admit though, when I looked from left to right the realisation dawned that I was actually more attracted to my 'friend' than to my prospect. Not really the right way around huh!

Suffice to say, I did not approach a 3rd bloke. I did go home and send out a few online kisses, as I guiltily pondered the matter . Not quite the same though is it?

So I guess I failed. Which puts even more pressure on me as I head out this evening. Can I manage to engage an unsuspecting man in dialogue tonight? Stay tuned for tomorrows exciting update!

Oh and by the way....my MySpace buddy continued to pester me a little once I got home - via text. It seems although he knows it's wrong he just get enough of moi. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. Don't worry I didn't act on it, I am like so over casual you know what right now.

xxxoooxxx