Men, men, men...trouble, trouble, trouble!

Last night, ex f*ck buddy (My Space buddy, see post April 2) initiated a text-a-thon with me. Let me tell you once more re My Space buddy, we were only ever friends (with benefits), having nowhere near enough in common for it to be more than that. AND that he now has a serious girlfriend. Before telling you what his messages were in relation to. And that is that he wanted me to know that a/ the sex between us was so good he will never forget it and at times he can’t get it out of his head and that b/ we would have been awesome together but the timing was just out. As if!

Where does he get off? No way, no, no, no. The reality is that I actually regret that ‘part’ of our friendship, but just didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying so. Seriously, it wasn’t that great, sorry My Space buddy. I tell you - Men! How would his bird feel if she got wind of these texts?! My god, if was me would want to cut his dick off!

Anyhow, am very annoyed at above behaviour, and of course simultaneously secretly ego style chuffed....seems I am on fire this week.

xxxoooxxx

It's getting hot in here....

Fozzy…..as promised called me on return from smelly motor racing. I had mixed emotions going into the call. Firstly, it was on my mind that eggs should never be placed in one basket; hence I should give him a chance. Secondly, that he had really annoyed me by not contacting me over extended period, leading to blog comments posted by moi indicating that I had decided it was time to a/ face it, he was not that into me and b/ to move on.

The call started out well. We had a great chat catching up on each others happenings. I was however, waiting for him to open up and he wasn’t, so I then had to go for the juggler. I said, ‘what is going on with you anyway, what is this business of disappearing and then reappearing in my life about’. Silence. Prodded some more. Got nothing. Then said, so either you’re a player or you’re just not that into me. Felt gold!

He didn’t think gold. In fact, he was still acting like stunned mullet. Eventually he confessed that he is just slack when it comes to women (maybe would be better with men?!). Apparently, he has been accused of slackness previously and is regularly ‘in trouble’ for it. Suddenly eggs and basket receded to back of mind and found myself saying to Fozzy ‘well if you can’t be bothered, I’m not going to bother either’. Then I bade him farewell. Back to time to move on then!

Next.

The Definer. Early last week we organised a date for Sunday night, a bit of a wait, but I can do patience. Besides, I had a lot going on last week. However, post this Tuesday date arrangement I did not hear from him for the rest of the week. Not once. Is this normal I asked myself? Is he too just not that in to me? I decided given the pear shaped direction our previous date had taken, I would just be cool as a cucumber and wait for said date. I committed to myself that there would be NO alcohol; knowing I had damage to undo…

Sunday rolled around and my excitement began to build. Couldn't help but text to confirm, but all good, immediate reply and date confirmed.

This is what happened: He picked me up. I wore girly frock (new look see Manual), He drove me to a lovely Italian restaurant. We ate pizza and ice cream. He paid. We both stayed completely sober. We held hands leaving the restaurant. He drove me home. He came in. We spent hours talking and ‘stuff’. He left. He text me once home to say what a great time he had. He emailed me first thing the next morning. Wow.

That said, now seems The Definer (and I ) are once again having diary problems. It’s looking like a good week or so until our next date. And let’s not get carried away, I really hardly know the guy. And warning, he is newly single (only 3 months, after 5 years) so for all I know has eggs in many baskets. Is hard to refrain from excitement though, I will confess.

But restrain I will. Options are open, time will tell. No really.

On the options subject, Fozzy called me again this week. Fingers obviously fully recovered then! Seems he thinks I am amazing and is beating him self up for his 'me', related slackness. I recommended counselling. And told him he’d missed the boat (sorry he deserved it). Have decided to remain friends however, in the spirit of the HH.

Stay tuned!

xxxoooxxx

Rant and rave

I tell you what makes me mad...........like furious actually.

Every man I know has told me that in the Hunt for Mr Right, you should never shag on the first date. Their rationale being that good girls (the marrying kind) don't put out on the first night. Plus then there is the whole we like the thrill of the chase malarkey.

Why, why, why then, do they all insist on doing EVERYTHING in their power to get into our pants on the first date? Even when we firmly say no, they will persist until they wear us down. And let's face it, we enjoy it too, so it's not exactly easy when your body is saying yes, yes, yes to say no, no, no.

Thinking about it, it actually says to me loud and clear that they really believe that 'sex is for boys and love is for girls'.

So, next time a bloke is whining on about his bird having a low libido, ask him this for me. Did she put out on the first night? Because they're the ones you want to marry ;)

xxxoooxxx

ps don't worry I'm just ranting, The Definer and I are still an 'item'....phew

Self Sabotage

Now, we all know that key rules to adhere to when luring your man in are:

a/ playing a little hard to get
b/ making him wait for the prize
c/ keep defenses up – ie stay sober

On Friday afternoon I got a text from The Definer seeing if I wanted to join him and a couple of friends at the pub around the corner the following afternoon. Sure I thought, why not.

Of course on Saturday when he confirmed these arrangements I started to get nervous. His first text basically informed me that he was going to the pub with a bunch of Rugby mates and that they would probably give him a hard time in front of me.

At this point I was like, what have I got myself into here….So wrote back and said, um, sounds interesting, so just me and the boys huh? To which he replied, you will be fine, boys and also their girlfriends.

Then I got more nervous! What was he doing inviting me to pub with loads of friends on second date? And would it look like I was neurotic if I pulled out last minute. Decided yes, I had to go.

The right outfit became an obsession as was suddenly trying to impress men and women. And what if the girls didn’t like me??? What then?!

Anyhow, I set off chanting to myself, this will be fine, I am nice girl, just keep it short, don’t shag him etc.

What I find strange though is this. Despite this mantra, during the day on Saturday I did the following:

• bought condoms
• bought new underwear
• bought new trimmer thingy

Well the rest is history. I was a big hit. And I broke all the rules.


I ask you readers, could it be that I don’t want a husband after all??????

xxxoooxxx

Ps stop screaming at me, I know I stuffed up already! Let's just hope it's speedbump rather than a stop sign ;)

Toying with men

They are simple creatures really.

Fozzy is suddenly not letting go.

Next move post text was to Facebook friend request me. Eight weeks after meeting and five dates later, NOW, he chooses to be my virtual friend!

Moving on, once facebook request accepted, must have decided coast was clear for him to send another text. Oh pulease, now that he aint sure he can have me, he is super keen - so freaking predictable.

Message said he is off to Bathurst for the weekend but would LOVE to see me next week (eeeeewwwww gross, smelly motor racing).

Slept on this. Woke up and decided that since the MANual says is very important not to put all eggs in one basket I should at least continue toying with him. So did not reply with a yes, but a 'enjoy the fumes and give me a buzz next week'. Has of course already responded with a will do!! Stupid boy, doesn't mean I am going to see him now does it, no need to get all excited.

Meanwhile all quiet on the Definer front. Which is good really, coz too much too soon is always a recipe for disaster, no?

xxxoooxxx

A Fozzy story

I really enjoyed this so must share.

Yesterday, the text I received from Fozzy said:

I hope you haven't died without your massage?! I was away longer than I thought plus then I got really sick. Great way to finish holidays! Pffft. How are things with you?

Today I responded:

Is ok, managed to get massage elsewhere so thankfully am still alive :). Sorry to hear you have been unwell, assume you had broken fingers?! I am good, had lovely long weekend away with mates, all is well in my world.....

Love it!

xxxoooxxx

Semi Automatic

So I set off on my date with The Definer following the Manual to a T.

I dressed not in my typical first date gear (jeans etc) at all. Instead I went what I would classify as 'sexy secretary'. You see Steve says, you need to go for a look. Always a little sexy and always varied.

So last nights look: Pencil skirt (just below knees), very high patent black heals, tight v neck top and corporate white jacket. I felt pretty hot, just very work! Of course also 'claimed' to have not had time to get changed. Oh yeah, and tousled hair a bit as well.

The look was well received. Especially by females in pub who were craning necks admiring shoes. Not the desired target. Oh well.

After that I struggled a little with the Manual. I mean he asked me so many questions about work I had to answer them really! And, 90 minutes for a first date is just silly (I thought 200 much more appropriate). As for the flirting, you would have to ask him how I went. And the non drinking didn't happen. Although I was definitely more sober than drunk - so I didn't exactly fail miserably by my standards.

I do recall however thinking to myself about mid way through the date the following thought: 'this is too hard, I can't be bothered!, I just wanna be myself - surely that's enough!'.

So I tried. Who knows, maybe semi automatic will work just as well?

xxxoooxxx

ps for what it's worth he has already text me post date and the signs are all good
pps yes he has potential..ok yes I like him!
ppps yes we pashed hehe, but then I seem to be quite good on that front in general ;)

The MANual - Steve Santagati

What a weekend! Yes, twas quiet (well once Saturday rolled around) but twas also tres useful in terms of the Hunt. A contradiction in terms perhaps? I think not.

We were just leaving my friends abode in Sydney when this book cover jumped out at me. Picking it up and turning it over, I thought, well why not? So I chucked it in my bag and off we went. Turns out my female intuition was in gear. The book was a major feature over the weekend. In fact it was like group therapy with the whole thing being read out loud.

Steve Santagati has taken it upon himself to write 'The Manual' a book designed to educate how women how to come out on top in the dating game. Not another 'Rules' you say. Well yes kind of, but we thought much more insightful between us three.

Now to the serious business of finding out whether it actually works!

I can't run you through it all (go buy it if you're that interested) but some key themes I shall be taking on board as I navigate through my dating life.

• Dress for men rather than women - high heals, tossled hair, and just a hint of something else
  
• Flirt, flirt, flirt....translated to listening, eye contact, and a few compliments
• Play with him, don't make it too straightforward, they love to try and figure you out...the Hunt it seems is important - eg don't call straight back, vary contact, cancel dates occasionally
  
• Be suggestive, cheeky and naughty but not cheap
• Don't drink
• Don't treat a date like a job interview (instead of asking what he 'does', how about if he likes what he does and why?)
• Keep the first date fairly short, pique his interest
• Look after yourself...yep exercise, diet, etc they are visual creatures after all
• Don't talk about your work, they don't give a toss!
• Be clear on your own expectations early on - stick to your guns and walk if they're not being met

Well, there's loads more of course, but as I said buy the book. For what's it's worth I shall attempt to incorporate the above where possible.

And the first opportunity is this very night. The Definer has been very consistent in his communication with me thus far, and it's all systems go - tonight we are meeting for a drink. I have to admit, I am excited.

Of course this afternoon I got my first text from Fozzy in 10 days. Typical! Then again, I seem to recall saying 'Fozzy who?'.....

xxxoooxxx

Friday fun

Hmmm, things have quietened down. I eagerly await my date with The Definer, which will be taking place next Wednesday.....in like I dunno, 5 sleeps?! I have a good feeling about this one peoples.

Meanwhile, Shorty did text me a couple of days back, however, he seems to have taken the hint rather quickly - am I that transparent? I wrote back - but didn't ask him any questions. Nothing since. Then again he is a psychologist, so you've got to imagine he is fairly well trained in the art of reading people........and anywho, let's face it, he didn't rock my world.

Fozzy who?

I am off on a girls weekend so don't expect much from over the course of the next few days.

Sensing your boredom at my lack of material + to keep you (and I) entertained in the meantime, I have elected to tally up the Hunt so far. It's been a little over 6 months. The stats are in:

• I have been on dates/hooked up with 23 men (actually 24 after last night but that's a story I can't share)
• I have kissed (passionately) 18 men
• Of the 18 men, I met 6 online
• I have gone on more than one date with 8 men
• 7 of the 8 men I've seen again I've seen more than once I met online!!!!!
• I have not slept with any men I've met online...I've come close, but NO I haven't done it!
  

I'm suddenly thinking this HH business is the bomb - surely that's more than the average 37 year old female?!

xxxoooxxx