My Current Reality

I hope you enjoyed my vision, I know I did. Unfortunately it's now time to come back down to earth. And my current reality is somewhat different than my future!

Reality...

Whilst I was a bit of a heart breaker in my late teens and twenties, since hitting thirty it's been a wee bit different. OK very different actually. I can't think of a bloke I didn't scare off somehow...within a matter of months. 10 weeks on average. As for me leaving a blossoming relationship (you know the type when you have progressed to referring to each other as boy/girlfriend), I'm afraid it hasn't happened. I'm actually scratching my head right now trying to come up with one..something. I will at least list the ones that have featured. You will of course notice that none of them were even good enough for me!!!!

Gavin. Gavin was actually a long term leftover from my twenties. We moved in together at his insistence just prior my 30th birthday. I was pretty confident I was sorted, marriage and children would follow shortly. And they did. Just not with me! Gavin and I broke up 6 weeks after I turned 30. His excuse, he couldn't stand the fights we were having as work was also stressful. I've asked around. It wasn't my fault, any normal bird who has a defacto off visiting his 6 month old child and ex every Sunday....and keeping my presence under wraps (he didn't want to pay maintenance so was trying to keep the peace!) would have been giving said partner grief. One week after we broke up Gavin met Lynn. She moved in to our flat. Gavin and Lynn are now married with two kids. I swear I'm OK with it. No really.

Paul. I dated Paul for two months but what started out as adoration turned to indifference within I don't know, maybe 6 weeks. Actually this one drifted, I didn't get dumped. Does that count?!

Jamie. Cringe. Don't know what I was thinking he was 5 foot 7. Eeeew. I started out not too keen on him at all but going with the flow (I had cobwebs to clear). Very soon after we started dating he somehow got my mum to invite him to Xmas day. Dad got drunk and tried to punch him. Excellent! Things went down hill fast after that. Actually I think my dad was on to something, he was a long way from my type, it would never have worked!

Andy. Out of them all, the most serious in a way. Andy was an ex I'd met in the UK who resurfaced. Gorgeous Andy, a typical Libran who to this day suffers from the grass in greener syndrome. Andy moved in. Andy tried to get a job and sponsorship. Andy failed. I can't actually call this a dumping. But then again he didn't ever ask me to move to the UK with him. To be honest by the time he flew out I'd gotten a bit over the relationship. At the airport he sobbed and I comforted dry eyed. Maybe I dumped him after all?!

Mark. Mark was a set up through friends. Another one that my gut feel was...not the one for me. Who I then proceeded become quite keen on! Mark was still in love with his ex. Actually come to think of it so was Jamie! After a couple of months with Mark I started to fill the chill. The dumping followed soon after...

Richard. The worst of the worst. Richard claimed he loved me within a week. Again I was not too sure he was quite good enough for wonderful me. He wore me down with adoration and I started to believe I loved him too. 10 happy weeks later, he had shoulder reconstruction. He cried and thanked god he met me at the hospital. But when he got out of hospital things went pear shaped. He was spotted kissing another girl at the beach. I forgave him. He dumped me. Can I just say here and now THANK THE LORD!

Greg. Greg followed shortly after Richard. He was a chef. A bit tubby but otherwise quite handsome. He seemed to think he was gods gift. He liked to bring me down to earth with comments such as 'you're very attractive but I wouldn't call you hot'...followed by, "Now Kate my flatmate, she's hot". I am ashamed to admit I tried to up my hot factor. First I lost a few kg. Then I had botox. I might have been looking good but Greg only had eyes for Kate. So, after about 10 weeks (if you are thinking there is a pattern re 10 weeks, you're right) he dumped me. He claimed he didn't see a long term future with me so didn't want to waste my time. Yeah right, all he could see was his hot flatmate. Who funnily enough he never managed to con into a relationship. :)

Having been through this exercise, I've come to the decision that my currently reality is actually this. I haven't met the right man. I've tried to overcome this by falling in love with whomever was standing there. But you know what, not one of the above men were even close to being the man in my vision.

I'm ready for him to come now. And whilst you may say I'm too fussy, I don't think that's possible when you're on the hunt for a life partner. So guess what....I'm not going to settle for anything less, and I'm starting right now!

Next up I will take you through all of my current prospects. But right now, I've got to run. I've got a date.

xxxoooxxx